Saturday, January 7, 2012

Refusing to Settle

I think sometimes in life we all need a little reminder. I received mine on New Year's Eve this year. I think that we all have expectations of what we think is going to happen when you move somewhere new. Perhaps I thought Portland would be a sea of endless liberal, handsome, artistic men and I would finally find someone special. Unfortunately, my love life has been quite the opposite.  My love life this past year resembles more of a comedy routine than a love story.  If I could tell you the stories of my life, you wouldn't believe it. The stories are hilarious, jaw dropping, and I would have you laughing until you were crying.

Thus, in my mind New Years was supposed to be this magical night for me, a new start. I tend to have a good time wherever I go, but perhaps my friend could sense my disappointment for the evening. We were laughing and chatting when she opened a beer for herself. The cap of her beer of choice always has a little message on the underside of the cap, kind of like a Dove chocolate. She read the bottle cap and looked at me and said, " This is for you." She placed it in my hand.  As I uncurled my fingers that surrounded the bottle cap, I just kept reading the words on the cap over and over in my head, "to refusing to settle."

While she will never know the extent of what she did for me that night, I realized how right she was.  Not only did it pertain to my love life, but everyday life.  I feel we all are prone to settling.  The truth is that with the real things that matter in life, you deserve the best and settling should never be an option. I think we all know those people who are perpetually in relationships because they cannot fathom being alone. They constantly jump boyfriend to boyfriend to settle for the next best thing. I have gone to their weddings, bought the gifts, smiled and wondered to myself are they happy? Will their love last? I feel that in our society there is this palpable pressure to follow the crowd, to do what everyone else is doing, because no one wants to be left out.

Maybe I too was prone to settling this year,  just wanting someone to want me, to think I was special, despite how un-Mr. Wonderful they were. Yet what I have learned this year is that life is too short to settle, whether it is love, your job,  or your goals of life. There is no reason I should of hobbled home after a marathon because he forgot to pick me up, or entertain my date's ex- girlfriend who happened to show up at dinner, but for some reason in my mind I had decided this was ok. The truth is both you and I deserve more.

We deserve the best this world has to offer, and it starts with us. It begins with you and me believing we deserve great things. It begins with you and me refusing to settle for mediocrity. It begins with you and  me pushing ourselves one more mile, because we can. It begins with us.  My hope for you this year is that you settle for more. Prove to yourself that you are worth it.  Know in your heart that you have something to give to this world. Because what you will discover is how wonderful you truly are.

1 comment:

bigsteve52 said...

...and when you do meet Mr. Right, he will be the luckiest man in the world....