Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Sinfully Satisfying

I have had one of those crazy weeks. The kind where you feel like nothing can go your way and all you can do is just laugh between the uncontrollable sobbing. My life in the last month has been stripped of most of the things that I love and enjoy. With a gimp leg, the large rain cloud of the boards ominously following me, and the fact I might be homeless in a month has caused me to experience large amounts of anxiety. My mother and best friend would rather blame it on the "plate to full syndrome." Which in some way they both are probably correct, yet this tends to be the way I roll. So amidst my minor breakdown, I discovered that I really needed a sweet treat. My 35 calorie chocolate fudge-sicle wonder was not going to cut it. Thus I headed to my Hippie Haven, where granola and nut butters flow'eth over, Bloomingfoods. But, on my way there in convo with my friend I had enough time to "accidentally" turn left on a red light with a police officer right behind me. Seriously, this could only happen to me. This promptly resulted in red an blue swirling lights in my rear view mirror. The sweet young man who approached my car kindly told me of my misdemeanor felony.  I batted my eyes, smiled coyly all in hopes of avoiding a ticket. Lucky me, he was feeling mighty generous as he sent me on my way  with only a warning reminding me to be careful of course.

So was it a sign? Still a little jostled from the prior encounter, I decided to continue on my quest for a sweet treat. I think none of you will be surprised by the fact that I am an avid calorie-counter. I even have a Mac widget devoted to calorie counting. Thus as I scoured the aisles looking for the most satisfying lo-cal sweet treat, I stumbled upon the most beautiful site my eyes had seen. It is called the Flourless Chocolate Walnut Cookie. Homebaked by the geniuses of Bloomingfoods, its only ingredients were egg whites, vanilla, salt, cocoa, powdered sugar, and walnuts. I decided this was just the fix I needed. I would just like to inform you this is the most decadent thing I have eaten in years. So after devouring the entire cookie, I realized this was genius and had to share it with you all. To my suprise it only has 55 calories per cookie!  So delight in this sinfully satisfying cookie without guilt.

Flourless Chocolate Walnut Cookies

2 1/2 cups walnut haves
3 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup plus 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 egg whites
1 tbsp vanilla extract

Line 2 baking sheets parchment paper
Pre Heat oven 350
Chop walnuts toast until fragrant (9mins)
Mix sugar, cocoa, and salt
Stir in walnuts
Add egg whites and vanilla
Beat with fork or electric mixer on medium until batter is just moistened
Drop batter by the teaspoon onto baking sheets
Bake 15 mins or until tops lightly cracked and glossy

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Refrigerator Fiasco

Over the past month I have been in a heated dispute with my landlords, honestly I don't know how they sleep at night, because if they treated everyone like they treated me they would have superfluous amounts of unhappy tenants. This entire debacle began in March when after a long mind altering run I came home to grab my favorite icing device, a bag of frozen peas, to soothe my aching muscles. Much to my surprise all I found was the squishy water-logged contents of the bag. This was a Friday night so I called the tenant hot line for emergencies. I kindly described to the people that my refrigerator was having some issues and the lady assured me this would be addressed. 

So five days later, 6 phone calls, one from Daddy Rex, and still no cooling in my refrigerator. Now let's review the situation. I was kindly informed on Sunday that refrigerator melt-downs did not classify as an emergency. Ok, so my water pipes have to be exploding or I must be breathing in carbon monoxide to get any assistance? Fine I thought for sure they would take care of it on Monday.  As I waited for the queen of landlords to respond to my phone calls I just became bitter. You see I am one of those health food nuts, the kind that buys organic flax-seed stuffed pitas, Fage yogurt, and other random organic foods so you can imagine my dismay as I began tossing my malodorous rotting food from my inferno of an ice box. This is where I would like you to imagine sweet Jen, the girl who can't pick a fight, transitioning into MAD DOG PASKO

Tuesday morning I had had enough. Dragging my two garbage bags of rotting food into their office I was there on a mission. I told them I wanted to speak to Brenda, the owner. I would like to take this opportunity to create a picture of Brenda. A 50 something year-old woman, hirsute, with little white hairs coming out of her chin, approaching morbid obesity, with salt and pepper hair, and a rather large mouth. It is a wonder I didn't run away when she stepped out of her office to greet me. Yet, I wasn't there to be friends. I just remember I was hot-to-trot. "At one point I asked her what she wanted me to do with all my rotting food?"  She replied,  "Well, its cold enough you could have put your milk  outside."  Oh hey Brenda-baby, maybe if I was Laura Ingalls Wilder that thought might have crossed my mind. I was infuriated. So then I began to raise my voice, and so did Brenda. It continued to progress like this until we were both screaming at each other. Then I just got tonked off, because for the first time in my life I felt a kind of discrimination I had never felt before.

You see Brenda talked to me like I was her 13 year-old child, or an imbecile.  Although I am a well-educated reasonalble woman, If I would have been a man with the exact same problem I would have never been treated that way that I was.  The reverse discrimination I received from the woman was so alarmingly shocking I left the rental place trembling. When I reached the safety of my own car I began to cry. I am one of those women in life who believe they  can do it all. I can use a hammer and nail, mow a lawn, and have no reason to be dependent on a male for any reason. However, leaving Hallmark Rentals that day I realized I had so much to learn about how the world operates.

Which brings us to today. You see they fixed my refrigerator(supposedly). Yet, three weeks later, yesterday to be exact, I wake up and of course my new bag of peas are small squishy balls in the bag and my milk smells like rank socks. Oh yes, so I call and just say my name and the woman on the other end of the phone asks me, "Are you the woman who brought her rotting food in?" So perhaps I am sort of a legend at Hallmark Rental, almost like a David versus Goliath sort of story, but all I know is that in the end I have won.  I am over joyed to announce that today I will be receiving my new refrigerator; and nothing will make my day more than to tell them to send the bill to Brenda, the big bad landlord.